Sunday, May 29, 2005

"i feel infinite."

"There is a feeling that I had Friday night after the homecoming game that I don ‘t know if I will ever be able to describe except to say that it is warm. Sam and Patrick drove me to the party that night, and I sat in the middle of Sam’s pickup truck. Sam loves her pickup truck because I think it reminds her of her dad. The feeling I had happened when Sam told Patrick to find a station on the radio. And he kept getting commercials. And commercials. And a really bad song about love that had the word “baby” in it. And then more commercials. And finally he found this really amazing song about this boy, and we all got quiet.

Sam tapped her hand on the steering wheel. Patrick held his hand outside the car and made air waves. And I just sat between them. After the song finished, I said something.

“I feel infinite.”

And Sam and Patrick looked at me like I said the greatest thing they ever heard. Because the song was that great and because we all really paid attention to it. Five minutes of a lifetime were truly spent, and we felt young in a good way. I have since bought the record, and I would tell you what it was, but truthfully, it’s not the same unless you're driving to your first real party, and you're sitting in the middle of pickup with two nice people when it starts to rain.”

-- Stephen Chbosky, "The Perks of Being a Wallflower"

alanis (unplugged) -- princes familiar

5 comments:

K. said...

sorry for being an ass and not replying then. i wasn't very fond of the internet at the time.

yes, i still miss home. although lately i have been having fun with my life here, and the missing isn't so sharp. i guess it's ups and downs.
and why? i don't think i can provide a rational explanation. why would you miss your left hand if it was cut off?

thanks for being persistent enough to ask again. :)

K. said...

i have a severe sleeping disorder, apparently.

i guess you are right about growing a fifth limb (no filthy thoughts, hehe). it's true that i am starting to feel at home here. and high time, i'm in my 6th year in japan. but i'm just really afraid of substituting the new limb for the old one. i don't want to forget or stop missing home.

how long have you been where you are? (and where is that, if i'm not being too indiscrete?)

K. said...

you're right. i guess i have to learn to let go and/or accept new things and keep the old ones.

really nice to meet you. i'm kris. *shakes hands*

Anonymous said...

.. hmm, and did the anuthor mentioned the name of the tune? and if yes, please, tell what it was :)
Cheers!

K. said...

i don't think he mentioned the song at all.

but if you think about it, that's not the point. songs and how they make you feel is something very personal, so maybe what worked for charlie won't work for you or me. you got to find your own song and your own moment.