"i feel infinite."

"There is a feeling that I had Friday night after the homecoming game that I don ‘t know if I will ever be able to describe except to say that it is warm. Sam and Patrick drove me to the party that night, and I sat in the middle of Sam’s pickup truck. Sam loves her pickup truck because I think it reminds her of her dad. The feeling I had happened when Sam told Patrick to find a station on the radio. And he kept getting commercials. And commercials. And a really bad song about love that had the word “baby” in it. And then more commercials. And finally he found this really amazing song about this boy, and we all got quiet.

Sam tapped her hand on the steering wheel. Patrick held his hand outside the car and made air waves. And I just sat between them. After the song finished, I said something.

“I feel infinite.”

And Sam and Patrick looked at me like I said the greatest thing they ever heard. Because the song was that great and because we all really paid attention to it. Five minutes of a lifetime were truly spent, and we felt young in a good way. I have since bought the record, and I would tell you what it was, but truthfully, it’s not the same unless you're driving to your first real party, and you're sitting in the middle of pickup with two nice people when it starts to rain.”

-- Stephen Chbosky, "The Perks of Being a Wallflower"

alanis (unplugged) -- princes familiar

cigarette break

the books -- none but shining hours

"...i'd like to go home and go to sleep..."

the books are my new favorite band.



the books -- if not now, whenever

procrastination break

god, i'm so lame. here i am stealing an old survey from sara, just because i don't want to work. sigh. it's a small one, at least.

Album that:

you fell in love to: Dreams that Breathe Your Name, Elysian Fields

is for winter: Boys for Pele, Tori Amos

pumps you up: Transient, Gaelle.

your best friend would be surprised you own: Fatherfucker, Peaches

saw you grow up: Extraordinary Machine, Fiona Apple

you'd miss most if it were stolen: The Koeln Concert '75, Keith Jarrett

you fuck to: Mezzanine, Massive Attack

you make love to: Comfort Woman, Meshell Ndegeocello

makes you feel cool because you own: I Am The Fun Blame Monster, Menomena

is best for driving at night: Temperamental, Everything But The Girl

reminds you most of home: Statues, Moloko

sparked major change: Figure 8, Elliott Smith

cushioned a smashed-up heart: Bavarian Fruit Bread, Hope Sandoval & The Warm Inventions

you'd recommend to the next person you saw on the street: Lost and Safe, The Books

is in your car/discman/hip portable mp3 thing right now: Knuckle Down, Ani Difranco

you listened to on 9/12/01: i have no idea

is for summer: anything Mazzy Star

was playing when you were in your first car accident: never had a car

you'd want playing at your wake: Kind of Blue, Miles Davis

xiu xiu: i love the valley OH

...to be new in an instant

i was early for work today, and as i was going out of the trainstation, it started pouring outside. violent, warm, beautiful summer rain. i stayed under the roof for a few minutes to watch it.

* * *

"Teach myself to be new in an instant
Like the truth is accessible at any time
Teach myself it's never really one or the other
There's a paradox in every paradigm"


ani: paradigm

midnight snack

gherkin with peanut butter*. that's actually tasty. thanks.

* -- rani's original recipe

it's 1.48am and i gotta get back to work. sigh.

elliott smith -- junk bond trader

some of us got tired... 

and then some.  

having a good time on the train on our way back 

gaijins taking over the station!  

which way do we go? 

pretty flowers on the way to the station. 

cool and the gang 

really. we couldn't stay longer. 

:) 

...but even good times have an end. so here's us packing up to go back to kyoto 

ah, good times... 

..but i succeeded. they weren't happy about it. 

...it was hard... 

i was trying to get them to look in my direction... 

the knots. what more can i say. 

crying...sleepy...too much sun? 

everybody doing their own thing :) 

clients kept coming! 

here's some more activity going on...beach hairdressing! 

the water was freezing cold, but some of us did take a bath...while others didn't dare.  

here's our living radio -- mr.owen with his beautiful guitar. i didn't catch her name. 

rani in the sky with diamonds 

...and my left hand reaching out for something. yes, i do bite my nails.  

here's my feet taking it easy...